Alan Arkin Burford - The Man Who Couldn't Keep a Secret

Alan Arkin Burford was a good man, but he had one major flaw: he couldn't keep a secret. It didn't matter how big or small, how important or trivial, if Alan Arkin Burford knew it, he would tell it.
This led to some interesting situations. Like the time his boss asked to keep a new product launch under wraps. Alan Arkin Burford promised he would, but couldn't resist telling his wife. Who, of course, told her friends. Who, of course, told their friends. By the time the product was supposed to launch, everyone in town knew about it.
Or the time his friend asked him to keep an affair a secret. Alan Arkin Burford agreed, but then went out and told his bowling buddies. Who, of course, told their wives. Who, of course, told their friends. By the time the affair was over, everyone in town knew about it.
Alan Arkin Burford's loose lips eventually cost him his job. But he didn't mind. He preferred knowing that he was a man who could never keep a secret.
One day, Alan Arkin Burford was walking down the street when he saw a man being robbed. He knew he should call the police, but he couldn't resist telling the robber what he had seen.
The robber was furious. He grabbed Alan Arkin Burford by the collar and said, "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you!"
Alan Arkin Burford looked the robber in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, but I can't keep a secret."
The robber was so surprised that he let go of Alan Arkin Burford and ran away. Alan Arkin Burford called the police and the robber was soon arrested.
Alan Arkin Burford never did learn to keep a secret, but he did learn that there are some secrets that are worth telling.