Rashomon Peer Reviews!

Fannissa- I know you were a bit confused with the assignment, so I will try to grade you as accurately as I can.

Story Structure- 3

Work on establishing a better structure. When you redo the assignment, focus more on setting up the scene and write it less like an essay and more like a creative writing assignment.

Characterization- 2

There are no characters here since it is an essay about conflict resolution. When you write your story be sure to create characters. (They can be based on this story if thats the way you want to go with it)

Ideas- 3

Your ideas here are good. Maybe use the paragraphs about where you and your group argued about whether or not going to church makes you a Christian and put yourself in other peoples points of view.

Designing Organization-3

Maybe instead of jumping right into the topic create some background. It jumps around a bit throughout the page and its kind of hard to follow.

Specific Assignment Directions-2

You already know the directions weren’t followed. You’ll get it next time though! (:

Description- 4

Your descriptions are good and you used concrete language and some sensory details.

Word Choice- 4

Your word choice is also fine.

Sentence Variety- 3

Maybe vary sentence length a bit more, but most of it is pretty good.

Voice/Sense of Audience- 3

You are first talking about conflict resolution and then you are adressing a different topic. I would maybe talk more about how the conflict was resolved and add more voice to the people involved, because with the final assignment, you;ll want to give everyone a different voice.

Grammaer/Punctuation- 3

There are many grammar mistakes. Some of your sentences don’t end with a period or are run ons that are not grammatically correct.

Spelling and Word Usage- 3

Some of your sentences don’t make sense and you could vary the word usage a bit more.

Overall Assignment Presentation- 5

You followed a formal and double spaced your work making it wasier to read.

Total Score- 38

The best aspect of this assignment is your format, you followed the rubric and had some nice insight about conflict resolution.

One aspect of this assigment that may require further revision is the entire writing assignment, just because the directions weren’t followed and you need to write a creative writing assignment instead of an essay about conflict.

The grade I would give this assignment is: I can’t exactly grade it because you didn’t write a creative essay but if it were edited more I could possibly give you at C+/B-

Ian

Story Structure- 5

I loved how you connected the story with each different point of view. Instead of retelling the same story over and over again, you continued on with a different character and connected it very well. None of it was confusing and your transitions were fantastic.

Characterization- 5

I felt like I had a really good idea of what the characters were feeling and their lifes and backgrounds were very personal.

Ideas- 5

Ideas were dealing with both race and had a creative aspect. Focusing on such a young age group was perfect and helped ot show how hurtful comments can be.

Designing Organization-5

I liked the bold names at the head of each small essay. It helped to show the 4 different viewpoints and was very clear of who’s viewpoint it was.

Specific Assignment Directions-5

You followed directions and did the assignment as was expected.

Description- 5

Your descriptions are good and you used concrete language and many sensory details.

Word Choice- 5

Your word choice is also proper for the age group.

Sentence Variety- 5

Maybe vary sentence length a bit more, but besides that its pretty good.

Voice/Sense of Audience- 5

You have a very strong sense of audience. You followed the passive onlooker, the victim, the tormentor and the mediator.

Grammaer/Punctuation- 5

Your grammar is also fine. No corrections.

Spelling and Word Usage- 5

Spelling is fine and word usage is fine.

Overall Assignment Presentation- 4

Next time double space, but it is fine otherwise.

Total Score- 59

The best aspect of this assignment is your format and your depth into the feelings of each character. Your story is great too!

One aspect of this assigment that may require further revision is possibly give more background to the principal because her ideas to solve this issue in the end are actually very insightful.

The grade I would give this assignment is an A+! Great job on the assignment!

Paige

Story Structure- 5

Your structure is perfect. No confusion of who is speaking because you introduced each character.

Characterization- 4

Your characterization was good, maybe give a bit more background to the characters.

Ideas- 5

This was a really creative way to do the Rashoman style story. I’m curious to know more about it.

Designing Organization-5

Your organization is on fleek.

Specific Assignment Directions-5

You followed directions and did the assignment as was expected.

Description- 5

Your descriptions are good and you used concrete language and many sensory details.

Word Choice- 5

Your word choice is suitable for the characters.

Sentence Variety- 5

Your sentence could use more variety but besides that

Voice/Sense of Audience- 5

You have a very strong sense of audience. You followed the passive onlooker, the victim, the tormentor and the mediator.

Grammaer/Punctuation- 5

Your grammar is also fine. No corrections.

Spelling and Word Usage- 5

Your spelling and word usage is fine.

Overall Assignment Presentation- 4

Double space.

Total Score- 58

The best aspect of this assignment is your story idea and the fact that you have each person describe a different point of view also works.

One aspect of this assigment that may require further revision is possibly give more background to the characters but besides that you did well!

The grade I would give this assignment is an A+! I really enjoyed your story! Good Job!

Amy

Story Structure- 4

I like how you organized the characters and it was interesting to see how it developed.

Characterization- 4

Characters could use a bit more of a background but I liked how you each gave them their own agenda and problems in their lived.

Ideas- 5

I liked the scene you created. It was very creative and interesting to read.

Designing Organization-5

Your organization was fine! I liked that you put the supposed “homeless man” last so it was a surprise to find that he was just having a really bad week.

Specific Assignment Directions-5

You followed directions perfectly.

Description- 5

Your descriptions were awesome. I liked how you set up the scene and described everyone’s actions. It made me feel as though I was watching the scene.

Word Choice- 4

Some of your word choice was awkward, but I liked the desrciptors.

Sentence Variety- 5

Sentence variety was pretty varied.

Voice/Sense of Audience- 4

I would maybe go into more depth of the backgrounds of each charatcer so we get to know them more, but as far as the assigmnet goes you did it perfectly fine.

Grammaer/Punctuation- 4

There are a couple of grammar mistakes which are easily fixable.

Spelling and Word Usage- 5

Your spelling and word usage are fine.

Overall Assignment Presentation- 4

I’m not sure if we were supposed to double space it, but besides that it was good!

Total Score- 53

The best aspect of this assignment is your idea and the creative description you gave to the setting.

One aspect of this assigment that may require further revision is the few grammar mistakes that were made and more backgrounds to the characters.

The grade I would give this assignment is: an A! You followed all the directions and everything seemed fine!