Brad Pitt: An Awful Tin of Tomatoes

Oh, Brad Pitt. You were once Hollywood's golden boy.

But these days, it seems like you've lost your touch.

Your movies are flopping, your personal life is a mess, and you're starting to look like a walking advertisement for Botox.

What happened, Brad?

I used to be a big fan of yours. I loved you in "Fight Club," "Snatch," and "Thelma and Louise."

But lately, your performances have been wooden and uninspired.

I can't help but wonder if you've lost your passion for acting.

Or maybe you're just too busy trying to keep up with your younger, hotter wife.

Whatever the reason, it's clear that you're not the same Brad Pitt you used to be.

And that's a shame.

Because you were once one of the best actors in Hollywood.

But now, you're just a sad, pathetic shell of your former self.

I hope you can turn things around, Brad.

But I'm not holding my breath.

Here are a few specific examples of Brad Pitt's recent failures:

• His movie "Allied" was a critical and commercial flop.
• His performance in "The Counselor" was widely panned.
• His marriage to Angelina Jolie ended in a messy divorce.
• He has been accused of being a bad father to his children.
• He has been photographed looking disheveled and unhealthy.

It's clear that Brad Pitt is going through a rough patch.

But I hope he can turn things around.

Because I miss the old Brad Pitt.

The Brad Pitt who was a talented actor and a charismatic star.

The Brad Pitt who made me believe in love.

Come back, Brad.

We need you.