Commie Stokl Tries to Cook But Absolutely Fails

Well, folks, it's that time again. The time where I, Commie Stokl, attempt to cook something and inevitably end up creating a culinary disaster. This time, I decided to try my hand at making a simple grilled cheese sandwich. How hard could it be, right?

Let me tell you, it was harder than I thought. First, I had to find the cheese. I opened the fridge and was greeted by a chorus of forgotten leftovers and wilted vegetables. After some digging, I finally found a block of cheddar cheese that looked like it had seen better days.

Next, I had to find the bread. This was a bit easier, as I had just bought a loaf a few days ago. I grabbed a couple of slices and placed them on the counter. Now, here's where it gets interesting.

I couldn't find the butter. I searched high and low, but it was nowhere to be found. In a moment of desperation, I decided to use olive oil instead. I mean, it's both green and slimy, so it should be fine, right?

I put the sliced bread in the pan and poured a generous amount of olive oil on top. Then, I placed the block of cheddar cheese on one slice of bread and put the other slice on top. Please keep in mind that by now, the kitchen looked like a tornado had gone through it.

I turned on the stove and waited for the magic to happen. And waited. And waited. After about 10 minutes, I realized that something was wrong. The sandwich wasn't melting. It was just sitting there, getting soggy and unappetizing.

I panicked. I turned the heat up to high and watched as the bread started to burn. The cheese remained stubbornly unmelted. Finally, in a fit of desperation, I grabbed a spatula and tried to force the cheese to melt. This was a terrible idea.

The spatula slipped and the sandwich flew out of the pan, landing on the floor with a splat. I watched in horror as the once-promising grilled cheese sandwich transformed into a greasy, cheese-filled mess. I had to do something, anything. So I grabbed a broom and started to sweep the sandwich into a dustpan.

As I was sweeping, I noticed that Commie Stokl, the famous celebrity chef, was standing in my doorway. He was holding a camera and laughing hysterically. "You really do have a knack for disaster," he said. "What were you trying to do, make a grilled cheese souffle?"

I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Even though my attempt at cooking had been a complete and utter failure, I still had a good time. I mean, who can say they've created a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like a Picasso painting?

In the end, I went out and ordered a pizza. It wasn't the grilled cheese sandwich I had envisioned, but it was still pretty darn good. And hey, at least I provided some entertainment for Commie Stokl.

Moral of the story: if you're not a trained chef, don't attempt to cook. Just stick to ordering takeout. Your taste buds and your kitchen will thank you for it.