Deadpool: The Man, t

Deadpool: The Man, the Myth, the Merc with a Mouth

"I'm Wade Wilson, and I'm here to say... I'm not your average superhero. I'm not like that goody-two-shoes Superman or that moody Batman. No, I'm the guy who breaks the rules, the guy who says what everyone else is thinking. I'm the merc with a mouth, baby!"

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Wade, you're just a foul-mouthed mercenary." And yeah, that's true. But I'm also a guy with a heart. I mean, sure, I enjoy slicing and dicing bad guys, but I'm not heartless. I've got a soft spot for the little guy, and I'm always willing to fight for what's right. Just don't ask me to wear spandex.

But let's be real, I'm not all sunshine and rainbows. I've got my dark side too. I've seen things that would make your hair stand on end. I've lost people I loved. I've been through hell and back. But hey, it's all part of the job. When you're the merc with a mouth, you're gonna have a few scars along the way. Besides, they make me look badass.

So, if you're looking for a typical superhero, well, you're in the wrong place. I'm Deadpool. I'm the guy who makes you laugh, cry, and cringe all at the same time. I'm the guy who'll save the day, but not before I make a few sarcastic remarks. And I'm the guy who'll always be there for you, even if you don't want me to be. Just don't forget, with great power comes great responsibility... and a whole lot of chimichangas.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a katana and a whole legion of bad guys. So, long live Deadpool, the merc with a mouth, and may your chimichangas always be hot and crispy.

• My Greatest Moments

1. The Time I Killed the President (Okay, it was just a cardboard cutout, but still impressive!)
2. The Time I Teamed Up with Spider-Man (And stole all his webshooters)
3. The Time I Fought a Giant Squid (It was epic, until I got seasick)
4. The Time I Saved the World (Well, technically, I just distracted the bad guys while the X-Men did the real work)
5. The Time I Got My Own Movie (And it was awesome! Except for that PG-13 rating... I mean, come on, I'm Deadpool!)

• Things I Hate

1. People who don't get my jokes.
2. Villains who take themselves too seriously.
3. Censorship (Seriously, why do I have to beep my own name?)
4. People who don't like chimichangas.
5. Cancer (Yeah, I went there. Don't judge me.)

• Things I Love

1. Chimichangas (Duuuh!)
2. Breaking the fourth wall (It's like a superpower... but without the spandex)
3. Sarcasm (It's my native language)
4. Red (It's the color of my suit... and my blood)
5. My fans (You guys rock! Even the ones who don't get my jokes. Mostly.)

So, there you have it. I'm Deadpool, the merc with a mouth, and I'm here to stay. Whether you love me or hate me, just remember: I'm the one who makes you laugh until you cry. Just don't forget to tip your chimichanga delivery boy.