For the end

For the end..

Dear Israel, if you ever read this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down. I know you wanted to help me, and I appreciated it. I always felt better when I talked to you because you always made me feel like I was worth something. Even though I was worthless. You made me feel beautiful and made me feel like I actually fitted in for once. But by you reading this, I guess you can see I wasn't. Nobody ever expected this from me. I always smiled and laughed and had a good time with everybody. But secretly I wanted to die.

I'm sorry for all the times I annoyed you but you said I didn't. I'm sorry for all the times I bugged you because I texted you so much. But you were the only one I could talk to. I'm sorry I never stayed strong for you. I'm sorry your words weren't enough for me. I'm sorry I let you down. But I'm in a better place now. I'm happy. The people I left behind might not be happy, but I am. You're probably thinking about how selfish I am because I had a lot of things but I still committed suicide. Writing this right now, I can't believe it actually worked. Wow..