Peer Reviews

Katie Walsh

Story Structure: 5. I liked how you talked about general stuff to give the reader some background information, and then went into the meet-cute aspect.

Characterization: 4. I think you could improve by developing Brighid’s character more. Maybe take a section to go into who she is and what she’s all about.

Ideas: 5: I love the beginning and how you said it was about you. That pulls the reader in and makes them feel more connected.  

Designing Organization: 5. I think you can try and throw in some more things at the beginning that spice the story up a but rather than saving it all for when the two meet.

Specific Assignment Details: 5. Very creative. Followed meet-cute.

Description: 4. Pretty good, I think you could describe your grandpa a little better. I got a good idea of hi, but couldn’t quite visualize him.  

Word Choice: 5. I think the words used were appropriate and fun.

Sentence variety: 4. Pretty good. Try to throw in some different structures.

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5. Applicable to all readers.

Grammar/Punctuation: 5. First paragraph, last sentence!

Spelling and Word Usage: 5. I didn’t notice any mistakes.

Overall assignment presentation: 4. It looked good! I think there can be more third person rather than all the quotes going back and forth. Add in some descriptions between the conversations.

The best aspect of this assignment is the fact that you clearly stated that it was about you. The narration is really good and real.

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is characterization. It has so much potential and I think you should describe situations and characters better with your use of adjectives.

The grade I would give this assignment is: B+

Kayla Bierei

Story Structure: 5. I was able to visualize what was going on perfectly. Everything flowed really well and nothing seemed out of place to me.

Characterization: 5. I loved it. The way you described each character was so in depth. I was able to draw a visual picture in my head. I could see the man’s tired eyes and I felt his character as a person.

Ideas: 5: I love how it is such a simple idea, but full of depth. I can see this as a Hallmark movie.

Designing Organization: 5. I think you can further analysis of Jeremy’s story if you wanted. (For the 15 paged story) I feel like the story was focused on Sophia and Jeremy is more of a mystery, but that also works so it’s whatever you feel.

Specific Assignment Details: 5. Very creative. Followed meet-cute.

Description: 5. The descriptive adjectives were on point. The best I’ve ever reviewed.

Word Choice: 5. I loved how it was casual because these were every day people, but you still managed to make it sound intellectual if you know what I mean.

Sentence variety: 5. Very good, maybe try different structures?

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5. Amazing. The audience could literally be anyone.

Grammar/Punctuation: 5. I didn’t catch any mistakes.

Spelling and Word Usage: 5. I didn’t notice any mistakes.

Overall assignment presentation: 5. Perfect!

The best aspect of this assignment is the characterization. It was so on point. I could literally see this Jeremy dude in my head and kind of fell in love a little.

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is developing Jeremy’s character more. He seems very mysterious to me, but this could also be a good thing so whatever you feel.

The grade I would give this assignment is: A

Christian Barrera

Story Structure: 5. I was able to visualize what was going on perfectly. The details were precise and accurate.

Characterization: 5. There were many quotes utilized that helped me envision what and how things were being said.

Ideas: 5: I can tell you took time to think carefully about each of the perspectives. I can see the different personalities through the story.

Designing Organization: 3. It was very well organized, however, lacks transitions. It goes right into the other person’s perspectives. I don’t really know if transitions are technically necessary for this assignment, but for the rubrics sake I would look into that.

Specific Assignment Details: 4. For the most part, everything seemed to follow the instructions. There are few edits to be made.

Description: 4. More descriptive words can be used to make the story more exciting.

Word Choice: 4. I believe you can work on word choice rather than using bland adjectives.

Sentence variety: 4. Good, but try using different structures. Don’t always start sentences the same way.

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5. Very good job using appropriate language for each character. It was clearly coming from different perspectives and I was able to tell.

Grammar/Punctuation: 5. I didn’t catch any mistakes.

Spelling and Word Usage: 5. I didn’t notice any mistakes.

Overall assignment presentation: 4. No header/Page numbers!

The best aspect of this assignment is that you were really able to tell the story in complete different perspectives. They sounded like they were written by different people.

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is using more adjectives to make the story more interesting and memorable.

The grade I would give this assignment is: A-

Carla Ventura

Story Structure: 5. The story was very well-written and written in a different way I myself interpreted the assignment. Everything flowed very well.

Characterization: 5. This was amazing. I was able to see every side to the story.

Ideas: 5: I can tell you jumped into every character and really thought about what they were feeling.

Designing Organization: 5. It was organized very well. You almost can’t tell that the goal of the assignment was to tell from different perspectives because everything flowed so well.

Specific Assignment Details: 5. You followed the instructions, but took a different approach that worked even better.

Description: 4. You could probably add in some more descriptive adjectives.

Word Choice: 5. Very good use of words.

Sentence variety: 4. Maybe try some other sentence structures, otherwise very good.  

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5. Very good job using appropriate language for each character. It was clearly coming from different perspectives and I was able to tell.

Grammar/Punctuation: 5. I didn’t catch any mistakes.

Spelling and Word Usage: 5. I didn’t notice any mistakes.

Overall assignment presentation: 4. No header/Page numbers!

The best aspect of this assignment is the structure. It was amazing and flowed very well.

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is making the 4^th person narrator clearer. I had to look for the fourth person.

The grade I would give this assignment is: A

Julia Yi

Story Structure: 4. I was a little lost at times because I found it hard to follow. Good ideas, though.

Characterization: 4. There were a lot of people going back and forth at each other and I was able to see each side, however I got lost at times.

Ideas: 4. Very good, maybe try and expand a little more.

Designing Organization: 4. The structure does work for the assignment, however I would change it to a less scripted way of telling the story.

Specific Assignment Details: 5. Directions were followed.

Description: 4. You could probably add in some more descriptive adjectives.

Word Choice: 4. Worked for the situation.

Sentence variety: 4. Maybe try some other sentence structures, otherwise worked for the personalities for the characters.

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5. Good job using appropriate language for each character. It was clearly coming from different perspectives and I was able to tell.

Grammar/Punctuation: 5. I didn’t catch any mistakes.

Spelling and Word Usage: 5. I didn’t notice any mistakes.

Overall assignment presentation: 5. Correct!

The best aspect of this assignment is the casual language. It was very relatable and I enjoyed reading it.

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is trying to make the story flow better. The structure needs to be edited.  

The grade I would give this assignment is: B