Finer details

Amidst the joyful echoes of happy voices,

I quietly wonder whether I should really be here;

They are all so definite, their role so clear,

When I feel I still need to make so many choices…

So listening to the clatter of human mingling,

I quietly wonder whether I should even live;

When meeting others send most people’s nerves tingling,

Mine tie me into knots of emotions haplessly flickering…

It is wonderful how composed they all appear,

And I quietly wonder if I could ever be so refined;

Would you believe I still retain a sense of pride,

Though lacking these finer details that would make me genteel?

Sometimes a look, a word or a kiss draws me into the circle,

And I quietly wonder that I might happily belong,

At least for a little while there is no hurdle

To freely satisfy for this companionship the longing…

Yet, even in the midst of cheerful company,

I quietly wonder whether these finer details actually matter…