Florida Primary 2024: The Name's the Game

Another sunshiney, sleepy Sunday in the small town of Samsula, Florida.

My husband and I guzzle coffee and hurriedly check our phones. We're waiting for a call from my best friend Kerri. She's supposed to pick us up to go vote in the presidential primary. But it's 10:43 a.m. and she's late. Again.

"Ugh, she's so inconsiderate." I huff, sipping my lukewarm coffee.

"Maybe she forgot today was the primary?" my husband, Dave, says with a shrug.

"No," I scoff. "She's just living up to her name."

You see, Kerri was named Karen before it became a derogatory term. But it fits her perfectly, especially this morning.

Just then, the phone rings. "Finally!" I exclaim, leaping to answer it.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Kerri says, and I hear her car pull up outside. "Ran into some traffic."

"Traffic? In sleepy Samsula?" Dave asks, incredulously.

We pile into Kerri's car and head to the local elementary school where the polling place is set up. As we walk into the building, we're greeted by a sea of elderly voters. I guess they really are the early birds.

"Oh look, it's the Three Karens," a wizened old lady with a perm mutters as we pass.

I roll my eyes and sign in. "Please, don't lump me in with them," I tell her.

We proceed to the ballot boxes. A volunteer checks our IDs and hands us our ballots. "Thank you for voting in the presidential primary," she says with a smile.

As I step into the booth, I feel a sense of excitement. This is my chance to have a say in who will lead our country for the next four years. I take a deep breath and look at the ballot.

The names are just names to me. I don't know much about any of these candidates. I start to feel overwhelmed. How am I supposed to make an informed decision?

I scan the list. Smith, Jones, Wilson, Patel, Rodriguez... And then I see it: Kerri Ann Johnson.

I smile. Well, this is an easy choice.

I fill out the oval next to her name and walk out of the booth. As I drop my ballot into the box, I can't help but feel a sense of pride. I voted for a friend, and maybe even a future president.

"Who'd you vote for?" Kerri asks as we walk out of the school.

"Kerri Ann Johnson, of course," I say. "Who else?"

"Me too!" Kerri exclaims. "I'm so glad you did."

"Well, she is the most qualified candidate," I say with a wink.

"You got that right," Kerri says, laughing. "Now, let's go get some brunch and celebrate."

As we walk to Kerri's car, I can't help but think about the power of a name. It can be a source of pride, laughter, or even a deciding factor in an election.

And who knows? Maybe one day, we'll be calling President Kerri Ann Johnson "Madam President."