fumigate all hours

A not so serious guide to keeping your home clean

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that dust bunnies flourish under the couch and in the corners of closets. Spiders feel at home in the basement and love nothing more than to surprise you when you reach for the winter hats. And don't get me started on the kitchen, where even the most diligent of us struggle to keep the counters clean.

But fear not, because I am here to share my secret to impeccably clean house: fumigate all hours!

I know what you're thinking, "fumigating is dangerous!" and you would be right. That is why it is so important to do it all hours of the day. That way, you can be sure to get all the dust bunnies, spiders and kitchen nightmares.

To fumigate your home all hours, you will need the following:

* A gas mask
* A lot of fumigant
* A timer

* Set a timer for one hour.
* Put on your gas mask.
* Release the fumigant into the air.
* Leave the house and do not return for at least 24 hours.

Repeat this process every hour, on the hour, until your house is spotless.

I know what you're thinking, "this is going to be expensive!" and you would be right. But think of all the money you'll save on cleaning supplies! Plus, your house will be so clean, you'll be able to charge admission.

Now go forth and fumigate!

Additional tips:

* If you have pets, please make arrangements for them to stay elsewhere during the fumigation.
* Be sure to open all windows and doors before you re-enter your home.
* If you experience any dizziness, nausea or other symptoms, please seek medical attention immediately.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional cleaner and I do not recommend that you actually fumigate your home all hours. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Please consult with a professional if you have any questions about how to clean your home.

*fumigate all hours*

fumigate all hours