Henrietta Maria of France Tzarev: You Can't Sit With Us!

In the lavish court of 17th-century Russia, Henrietta Maria of France Tzarev, a woman renowned for her wit and impeccable style, sparked a hilarious incident that would go down in history as "The Pie Incident."

As Henrietta Maria gracefully strolled through the crowded banquet hall, her gaze fell upon a group of boyars, the Russian nobility, seated at a long table. To her amusement, she noticed that one of them, the rotund and pompous Count Boris, had an entire pie perched precariously on his plate.

"My dear Count Boris," Henrietta Maria said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, "it appears that you have appropriated the entire pie."

Boris, his cheeks flushing red, gasped in indignation. "But Your Royal Highness, I am a nobleman! I deserve a pie to myself."

Henrietta Maria arched an eyebrow. "Deserve? I believe the word you are searching for is 'gluttons.'"

A ripple of laughter spread through the banquet hall. Other boyars, who had been secretly envious of Boris's solitary pie, began to tease him mercilessly.

Boris, unable to bear the ridicule any longer, stood up and declared, "Very well! I will share my pie with the rest of the commoners."

"Commoners?" Henrietta Maria interjected. "That would be us, Count Boris."

With a flourish, she led the other boyars over to Boris's table and proceeded to divide the pie into equal portions. Boris, his face a mixture of embarrassment and resignation, watched as his once-prized pie disappeared, piece by piece.

Lesson Learned: Don't hoard your pie in front of a witty queen.

Henrietta Maria's Legacy: The Pie Incident became a legend in the Russian court, cementing Henrietta Maria's reputation as a sharp-tongued but fair ruler.

And so, the tale of Henrietta Maria of France Tzarev and the Great Pie Debacle continues to be told to this day, a reminder that even the most serious of royal gatherings can be punctuated by a healthy dose of humor.

Epilogue: Countess Elena, a young lady-in-waiting, confided to Henrietta Maria a few days later that Boris had learned his lesson and was now sharing his pies regularly - although he still had a tendency to get the lion's share.

Henrietta Maria couldn't help but smile. She had not only taught Boris a lesson but had also improved the culinary lives of the entire Russian court. A win-win!