I’m Not Getting Married!: The Surprising Truth About Kenyan Weddings

In a world where fairy-tale weddings are touted as the ultimate goal for every girl, imagine growing up with a deep-seated aversion to them. As a Kenyan woman, I have spent my entire life swimming against the tide of societal expectations that dictate that every young lady should aspire to be a blushing bride.
Growing up, I was captivated by the glitz and glamour of weddings I witnessed on TV and in magazines. The idea of being the center of attention, adorned in a flowing white gown, filled with the love and admiration of friends and family seemed like a dream. But as I blossomed into a young woman, that dream began to fade, replaced by a growing sense of unease.
The Kenyan wedding industry is a booming business, with couples spending extravagant sums to create their picture-perfect day. From lavish receptions at opulent venues to designer gowns and elaborate décor, the pressure to have a grand wedding can be overwhelming. For me, this extravagance felt both unnecessary and out of alignment with my values.
Beyond the financial burden, I found myself questioning the underlying values and traditions associated with marriage in Kenya. The institution of marriage is often seen as a means to secure financial stability and social status for women. While I understand the historical context of this, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to life than being someone’s wife.
I have a deep-seated desire to live a life of purpose and make a meaningful contribution to society. Marrying young, as is often expected in Kenyan culture, felt like it would stifle my aspirations and limit my potential. I craved adventure, independence, and the freedom to pursue my dreams without the constraints of societal norms.
My decision to forgo marriage has not been without its challenges. Family and friends have expressed concern and even disappointment. Some have even suggested that I am selfish or that I will regret my decision in the future. But I refuse to let their doubts sway me. I am confident that I am making the right choice for myself.
I am not saying that marriage is wrong or that everyone should reject it. For many, it can be a source of love, companionship, and family. But for me, it is not the path I want to take. I believe that there are many ways to live a happy and fulfilling life, and marriage is not essential for my happiness.
I urge young women in Kenya to question the societal pressures they face and to make choices that align with their own values and aspirations. Don’t be afraid to challenge traditions or to blaze your own trail. Your life is yours to live, and you should live it on your own terms.
So, for now, I remain a proud member of the “I’m Not Getting Married” club. I may not be wearing a white dress or walking down the aisle, but I am building a life that is rich with meaning and purpose. And that, to me, is the greatest wedding gift I could ever receive.