John Cabang: A Relentless Chase for Identity

Life, as I've come to understand it, is an audacious scavenger hunt for one's true self. It's a relentless pursuit, a labyrinthine journey through the twists and turns of experience, all in the fervent hope of uncovering the essence that lies within.

My own odyssey began in the vibrant tapestry of the Philippines, where I was born. From the tender age of five, I found myself transplanted into the vibrant melting pot of Los Angeles, a place that both embraced and confounded me.

As I navigated the unfamiliar terrain of a new culture, I felt a disconnect between the identity I had left behind and the one I was expected to assume. I was a hyphenated being, an American-Filipino, trying to reconcile the two halves of my heritage.

Like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, I yearned to find the elusive connection that would make me whole. I delved into books, immersing myself in the stories of others who had embarked on similar quests. I sought out mentors, wise souls who had walked the path before me.

One pivotal moment came when I discovered the works of Carlos Bulosan, a Filipino-American writer who had poured his heart and soul into expressing the immigrant experience. Bulosan's words resonated with me deeply, offering a sense of kinship and validation.

Through his writings, I realized that my struggle was not unique, that many others had grappled with the same questions of identity and belonging. It was a profound moment, one that kindled within me a fire to embrace my own narrative.

Emboldened by this newfound clarity, I began to explore my Filipino heritage with a fervor. I attended cultural events, devoured traditional dishes, and immersed myself in the stories of my family and community.

With every step, I felt a piece of the puzzle falling into place.





• The vibrant colors of our festivals
• The rhythmic sway of our dances
• The warmth of our traditional cuisine

All these elements became threads in the tapestry of my identity, weaving together a richer, more vibrant whole.

But the journey was not without its challenges. There were times when I felt torn between the expectations of my Filipino heritage and the allure of my American upbringing. I grappled with the weight of societal stereotypes and the biases that often accompanied them.

Yet, through it all, I refused to let the obstacles define me. Instead, I chose to see them as opportunities for growth and resilience. I used my experiences to fuel my passion for writing, sharing my own story and the stories of others like me.

As the years passed, my pursuit of identity evolved into a more profound exploration of the human condition. I realized that the search for self is a universal one, a journey that transcends cultural boundaries.

It is a quest that calls us to embrace our complexities, to recognize the beauty in our differences, and to forge connections that extend beyond the confines of our individual experiences.

Today, I stand as a testament to the transformative power of embracing one's identity. I am no longer a hyphenated being, but a whole and complete individual, proud of the heritage that has shaped me and the experiences that have made me who I am.

My journey may not be over, but I have come to understand that the pursuit of identity is an ongoing process, a lifelong adventure filled with both challenges and triumphs. It is a journey that I embrace with open arms, knowing that every step brings me closer to discovering the true essence of who I am.

As I continue on my path, I offer you this reflection:

What is your own story of identity? How have your experiences shaped who you are today? Are you willing to embark on the relentless chase, to embrace the complexities and contradictions that make you unique?

Remember, the journey of identity is not a solitary one. It is a shared experience, a collective tapestry woven from the threads of our individual narratives. Let us embrace our differences, celebrate our similarities, and together create a world where every voice is heard and every story is valued.