Json Carneros: The Man Who Ate the Universe and Didn't Even Burp




In a world where ordinary humans struggled with basic arithmetic, there lived an extraordinary man named Json Carneros. Json was a man of unmeasurable appetite, not just for food, but for knowledge, adventure, and whatever else he could get his hands on.

One fateful day, as Json was lazily gazing up at the vast expanse of the night sky, a peculiar thought crossed his mind. "I wonder what the universe tastes like," he mused. With childlike curiosity, he decided to take a bite.

And so, Json opened his mouth wide and took a colossal chomp out of the cosmos. Galaxies, stars, and black holes filled his mouth with an indescribable flavor. Some astronomers claimed they could see a faint glow emanating from Json's stomach, as if he had swallowed a miniature supernova.

But the true miracle was that Json didn't even burp. This was no ordinary man. He possessed an unyielding digestive system, capable of withstanding the most bizarre and incomprehensible of celestial delicacies.

Word of Json's cosmic feast spread throughout the universe like a runaway comet. Aliens from distant planets flocked to witness the man who had eaten the heavens. "How is it possible?" they marveled. "Shouldn't you be exploding right now?"

Json simply shrugged and replied, "I've always had a strong stomach."

As days turned into weeks, Json's appetite for the universe continued unabated. He devoured entire constellations, nibbled on asteroids like they were cosmic popcorn, and even sipped the odd black hole or two. The universe was his buffet, and he was determined to finish it all.

  • One time, as Json was snacking on a particularly spicy globular cluster, he accidentally set his mouth on fire. The flames danced on his tongue, but he merely shrugged it off as a minor inconvenience.
  • Another time, he found himself stranded on a distant planet with no food. Desperate, he took a bite out of a nearby moon. The moon tasted like chalk, but Json found it surprisingly filling.
  • And on yet another occasion, he had a staring contest with a supermassive black hole. The black hole blinked first, defeated by Json's unwavering gaze and overwhelming stomach capacity.
Json's adventures were a testament to his unwavering courage, his insatiable curiosity, and his bottomless stomach. He showed the universe that anything was possible if one had the audacity to take a bite.

In the end, Json Carneros ate the entire universe, leaving nothing behind but a faint cosmic afterglow. Some say that he is still out there somewhere, drifting through the void, searching for the next great cosmic feast. And if you listen closely, you can still hear the faint echoes of his monumental burp, reverberating through the annals of time.

So, next time you look up at the stars, remember the legend of Json Carneros, the man who ate the universe, and didn't even burp.