Peer Reviews

ALEX: 

Story structure: 5-Establishes strong plot/setting/character p.o.v. I really liked how you described officer Dye's personality in the very beginning so we could understand the end of the story a lot better. 

Characterization: 4- Develops characters through dialogue, narration, and action.  There was lots of action in this story and most of the characters went through some sort of development.  

Ideas: 5-Develops ideas clearly and fully; uses a wide range of relevant details. Great details were used in this story which helped each enhance our understanding of each characters p.o.v. It made it easy to piece everything together. 

Designing Organization:4- Maintains a clear focus; exhibits a logical sequence of ideas through appropriate transitions. Your transitions were really fluid, just the first two shorter paragraphs were a little hard to follow at first.  It made more sense once I kept reading. 

Specific Assignment Directions: 5- Exceeds all requirements specified for this assignment.  Good job. 

Description: 5- Creative, concrete language; uses literary devices and rich sensory detail.  I liked your use of unique language for each character. 

Word Choice: 4- Effective word choices. Matched the assignment. 

Sentence Variety: 5- Well-varied sentence structure throughout. Solid sentence structure. 

Voice/Sense of Audience: 5- Unique voice; strong sense of audience.  Really good job with this, every new p.o.v has a unique voice. 

Grammar/Punctuation: 4- Mostly correct grammar; errors do not interfere with communication. The only thing I noticed is that you write officer dye instead of officer "Dye." 

Spelling and Word Usage: 5- Correct spelling, error-free word usage. Good job. 

Overall assignment presentation: 3- Incomplete heading, average title/presentation.  All you need to do is add a title. 

Total: 54

The best aspect of this assignment is: I really liked how you incorporated more and more detail as you changed to a different p.o.v. It got me excited to figure out what was happening in the story since all of the people had a connection to each other. 

One aspect that may require further revision is:  The only thing that I didn't understand at first were the two short paragraphs in the beginning.  I know that you were giving us more detail about Officer Dye, but because it is a perspectives story, I was confused as to what story you were trying tell. Of course, after I read it, it made sense.  I'm not sure how you can change it but perhaps you could just mesh it into one paragraph that leads into the actual beginning of the story more easily. 

I would give this assignment: an A! 

KAREN:

Story Structure: 3- Some elements of story structure; little blending of dialogue and narration.  I think you could use a little more detail and buildup as to why going to the concert was so important to you and your sister. 

Characterization: 3- Some character development.  Each p.o.v got more detailed, but I think more dialogue would have benefited the character development. 

Ideas: 4- Develops ideas clearly; uses relevant details. I like how you wrote about how both your parents were uncomfortable with you driving to LA. 

Designing Organization: 4- Maintains a clear focus; exhibits a logical sequence of ideas through appropriate transitions. You went from the desire of driving to LA, to talking to your parents, to their p.o.v, to actually driving down. good organization. 

Specific Assignment Directions: 4- Meets all requirements specified for this assignment. Good job. 

Description: 3- Some use of concrete language, literary devices, and sensory detail in assignment. Your story wasn't very detailed, but that could be fixed with more dialogue. 

Word Choice: 4- Effective word choice. Word choice fit with the story. 

Sentence Variety: 4- Good sentence structure and variety.  Good sentence structure. 

Voice/Sense of Audience: 3- Some awareness of voice and audience. 

Grammar/Punctuation: 5- Smooth, fluid error-free word usage. Good job. 

Spelling and word usage: 4- Mostly correct spelling and word usage.  Nice usage overall, 

Overall Assignment Presentation: 4- MLA heading; appropriate title; neat presentation. Good job with everything, now you just need to double space your name, date, teacher, ect... 

Total: 45 

The best aspect of this assignment is: I like how you can really understand the importance of different perspectives.  To you and your sibling, you were disobeying your dad. But to your dad, you weren't doing anything wrong. 

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is: I think this essay could be greatly enhanced if you just put in more dialogue so we could better understand the characters and see their development throughout the story! 

The grade I would give you is a: B

DANIELLE: 

Story Structure: 4- Establishes plot/setting/character/p.o.v. You had a good plot and setting, you could perhaps better describe the characters. 

Characterization: 3- Some character development. The characters need better development, but I like how you mention how Rachel has priors with stealing money. 

Ideas: 4- Develops ideas clearly, uses relevant details. Giving the context and writing about how it was New Years Eve was a nice touch because it made sense how everyone had money that they didn't want stolen. 

Designing Organization: 4- Maintains a clear focus; exhibits a logical sequence of ideas through appropriate transitions. I liked how you did this by adding the time to each character's p.o.v. 

Specific Assignment Directions: 4- Meets all requirements specified for this assignment. Good job. 

Description: 3- Some use of concrete language, literary devices and sensory detail in assignment. You did this well with all of the dialogue, but if you add more detail about the characters it will be easier to tell who is saying what. 

Word Choice: 4- Effective word choices. Good job. 

Sentence Variety: 4- Good sentence structure and variety. Good sentence structure. 

Grammar/Punctuation: 4- Mostly correct grammar; errors do not interfere with communication. There are a few times in your story where you need to change past/present tenses. 

Spelling and Word Usage: 5- Correct spelling, error-free word usage. Good job. 

Overall Assignment Presentation: 5- MLA heading; unique title; professional presentation. 

Total: 44

The best aspect of this assignment is: I really like how you added the time to each section of your story. It helped show how far along it was since the money was stolen, which helped me better understand what was going on at the party. 

One aspect of this assignment that may require further revision is: I really liked your strong use of dialogue, but i think it would be easier to understand if you gave a little bit more description for each character.  That way, when each character is speaking, we can better relate to them and understand why they are saying the things they say. 

The grade I would give this assignment is: B+