Meet Hawkens Vieri, the Man Who Can't Stop Telling Dad Jokes

Ever since Hawkens Vieri was a kid, he's had a knack for telling dad jokes. It started innocently enough, with the classic "What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick!" But over the years, his dad joke repertoire has grown to epic proportions, becoming both a blessing and a curse.

Blessing, because there's nothing quite like a well-timed dad joke to break the ice or lighten up a tense situation. And curse, because sometimes Hawkens Vieri can't help but blurt out a groan-worthy pun even at the most inappropriate of moments.

• At a job interview: "I'm applying for the position of 'office clown.' I have plenty of experience, and I'm always ready to make a fool of myself!"
• At his wife's birthday party: "Happy birthday, honey! You're looking so young... for your age!"
• At his son's graduation: "Congratulations, son! Now you're finally old enough to take over my dad joke legacy!"

Despite his wife's exasperated eye rolls and his friends' groans, Hawkens Vieri remains unfazed. He believes that dad jokes are the cornerstone of human communication, and he's on a mission to spread laughter wherever he goes.

One time, Hawkens Vieri was at a fancy restaurant with his wife, trying to impress her with his newfound sophistication. But when the waiter asked him for his order, Hawkens Vieri couldn't resist. "I'll have the steak," he said, "but make it moo." The waiter stifled a laugh, his wife blushed, and the entire dining room erupted in a chorus of groans.

But Hawkens Vieri didn't care. He knew he had made everyone's day a little bit brighter. And that's what matters most to him. After all, as Hawkens Vieri often says, "A day without dad jokes is like a day without sunshine!"