Meir Ezra - Who Do You Blame?

No one wins the blame game.

For example, you make a mistake or something goes wrong. So you blame someone or something.

"I crashed the car because you played the radio too loud!"

"It's not my fault the soup is too salty! It's your recipe."

"If we had a newer computer, I would do better in school."

Blame is frequently used to explain poor job performance.

"My boss is such a jerk, I can't get my work done."

"I closed my painting shop and went bankrupt because of the economy."

"You don't pay me enough to be nice to EVERY customer."

Blame is also used for personal problems.

"I'm depressed because of the tragedies in the news."

"I can't be faithful to my wife because I have a chemical imbalance."

"I can't stop smoking because my father used to spank me."

Why You Can't Win the Blame Game

When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "at effect" instead of being "at cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame.

"Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, your business is failing and you blame your assistant. You say,"My assistant messed up my business," which is just another way of saying, "My assistant controls me and the success of my business."

If you take responsibility for your business, you would say, "I need to train my assistant better."

As another example, you might blame your parents for your stress and anxiety. You might say, "My parents ruined my life," which is the same as saying, "My parents are so powerful, they control my mood and my emotions."

Stopping the blame game and accepting responsibility for yourself gives you new hope. "My parents didn't ruin my life. I ruined my life by being lazy and unemployed. I need to improve my opinion about myself and get busy."