What Nobody Told Me About the Genetic Lottery

I hit the genetic lottery. I'm tall, athletic, and have a head full of thick, luscious hair. I'm not bragging; I'm just stating the facts. Okay, maybe a little bragging. But I can't help it. I'm grateful for the genes I inherited. But here's what nobody told me about the genetic lottery: it's not all it's cracked up to be.

For one thing, it's lonely at the top. When you're taller than everyone else, it's hard to find someone to look you in the eye. I've been on dates where the guy wore lifts in his shoes. I'm not making this up. And don't even get me started on high heels. I wear them once a year, on New Year's Eve, just to remind myself what it feels like to tower over everyone else. It's a short-lived pleasure.

And then there's the hair thing. Sure, it's nice to have long, healthy hair. But it's also a pain in the butt. It takes forever to wash and style. And I can't even count the number of times I've gotten it caught in a door or a zipper. Plus, it's a magnet for bugs. I once had a spider build a nest in my hair. I'm not kidding. I had to go to the doctor to get it removed.

But the worst part of the genetic lottery is the pressure to live up to your potential. I'm expected to be a star athlete, a brilliant student, and a successful businesswoman. I'm expected to be perfect. And that's a lot of pressure to live up to. Sometimes, I just want to curl up in a ball and eat ice cream. But I can't. I have to be perfect. Because I won the genetic lottery.

So, if you're thinking about buying a lottery ticket, I urge you to reconsider. The genetic lottery is not all it's cracked up to be. It's lonely, it's painful, and it's stressful. But hey, at least I have good hair.

Just kidding. I'm perfectly happy with my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even with the bad hair days and the occasional spider nest. Because I know that I'm lucky. I'm lucky to be healthy, and I'm lucky to have the people I love in my life. And that's a prize that no lottery can ever take away.